I used to be a hopeless romantic sort of girl. Sure, I played a lot and I strayed a lot, but in my deepest of deep desires, all I wanted was a handsome white boy to come riding along on his white horse and whisk me away to that imaginary castle in Beverly Hills, where I could spend all my days on the beach, working out, partying and living the life of an amazingly happy Asian trophy housewife. Fast forward to 15 years later, and I'd be happy if I ended up with a white boy who was decent looking, didn't have a gut, took out the trash, put the seat down after he peed, and maybe paid for dinner every so often.
How did my outlook on love become so warped?? Well, lets just say I had to go through a SEA of little white fishes to get to where I am today. I found out that the white boy of my hopeless romantic fantasies did not, in fact, exist. But I did meet some pretty interesting dudes along the way, I must say, and after all of my experiences...let me introduce them to you.
The Bad Boy White Boy: We've all met him, we've all loved him, we've all tried to change him, and we've all failed miserably. My Bad Boy White Boy in college is now a doctor and happily married, living in Michigan. Fuck him.
The Cute Nerdy White Boy: Somehow he just tugs at your heartstrings, so as a hot girl, you decide to fulfill his fantasies and hope that you remain interested long enough to give him a period of happiness. My Cute Nerdy White Boy lasted 30 days, to be exact. He's now happily married, living somewhere in the Midwest. Fuck him.
The Amazingly Perfect White Boy You JUST Don't Feel For: He's perfect on paper. He comes from a great family, has a great job, he opens your doors, and all he wants is to find the right girl and settle down. But somehow, there is just SOMETHING missing. Something we hopeless romantics like to call "sparks." My Amazingly Perfect White Boy You JUST Don't Feel For is now happily married, living in Minneapolis with a beautiful house in Uptown. Fuck him and his pefect life!
The Broken White Boy: Like the Bad Boy White Boy, you want to change this one. But broken's broken, and you stick around just long enough to find out you just don't have enough glue in the world to put this one together. Funny enough, someone else seemed to find enough fucking glue and now my Broken White Boy is happily married, living in St. Paul, MN. Fuck him!!
Then there are just the ones that you meet, date, fuck, stop calling, stop talking to, or you become weird awkward friends until he finds a real girlfriend, who will of course HATE you because you're a hot Asian girl. Let's just call those the One-Off White Boys.
Of course, I AM sort of lying that my romantic fantasy White Boy doesn't exist, because in fact, I am in a relationship with a White Boy who makes me happy and who I haven't quite been able to stereotype just yet. He started off as the Bad Boy White Boy...then I somehow succeeded in changing him, or so I thought. And now, after three years, he has sort of started converting BACK to the Bad Boy White Boy. So my question is, do they always go back to their roots?
Then there's the side action White Boy I would categorize as a Broken White Boy, who's living with his baby and baby mama, but trying to break things off amicably so that the baby mama doesn't run off with his baby never to be seen again (the baby, that is). I'll save that story for another day.
